


The New Normal Part 3 (But Kind of Part 4)

by lastweekon



Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 04:22:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6889825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastweekon/pseuds/lastweekon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zak feels guilty about pushing Nick too far and goes over to his house to apologize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The New Normal Part 3 (But Kind of Part 4)

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 4 of what accidentally became a series. If you haven't read the earlier parts (Blind Date and The New Normal parts 1 & 2) then I would suggest starting there! 
> 
> Thanks again to those of you who reached out and requested I continue this story. I had so much fun writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it!

Zak’s car idled outside Nick’s house. He’d been there for a while now and he still hadn’t managed to step out of the car. It was late. But he knew that the longer he sat there, the later it would get. The light was on in the living room, but eventually Nick would go to sleep. But Zak wouldn’t. There was no way he’d sleep tonight unless he cleared the air with Nick. Ever since Nick had left his house hours before, Zak hadn’t been able to shake the shame he felt. He’d pushed Nick too far and made him uncomfortable. And all because he was so desperate to imagine what it would be like if Nick was his. But he wasn’t his, and he never would be. And now Zak’s actions threatened to cause a rift between them. He knew he couldn’t handle that. Not when they were _just_ starting to get back to normal. He _needed_ Nick. And if he couldn’t have him in the way that he wanted, he’d settle for friendship. Because a life without Nick in it wouldn’t be worth much. 

He checked the time again. It was really late now, and Zak knew that it was now or never. He either needed to get out of the car or go home and suffer through a sleepless night. He took a deep breath, turning the car off and stepping out. His heart thrummed in his chest as he made his way up the walkway to the front door. He thought briefly about turning back, wondering if an apology text would do the trick, but he knew that it wouldn’t. This had to be face-to-face, and it had to be tonight. He swallowed hard, knocking on the door. If Nick was asleep, he didn’t want to wake him with the doorbell. At least, that’s how he rationalized it. But secretly, he hoped Nick wouldn’t hear the knocks and he could put this conversation off for a few more hours. His face burned hot with embarrassment as his mind searched for ways to explain himself to Nick. How could he apologize without outing his feelings for the man? He didn’t know, but he knew he would have to find a way. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were before Nick had found out about his sexuality, when their friendship was easy and uncomplicated. At least on the surface. 

He heard shuffling behind the door and his heart jumped into his chest. He was about to do this whether he liked it or not. The door swung open as Nick greeted him with a look of shock.  
“Zak?” he said, blinking tiredly. His eyes were dark and puffy and Zak wondered if he had woken him up after all.  
“Shit, were you sleeping?” Zak asked, feeling his cheeks color. He should have waited until morning.  
“No, I was awake.” Nick said.  
“I’m sorry for coming over so late like this…” Zak rambled awkwardly. “I was just wondering if we could talk for a minute?”  
“Um...yeah, sure.” Nick said, stepping back from the doorway so Zak could walk into the house.  
“Thanks.” he mumbled, stepping into the entryway. Nick was acting distant and Zak wondered again if this visit was a mistake.  
“Should we sit?” Nick asked, eyes not settling in one place for long.  
“Yeah, that sounds good.” Zak said nervously, following Nick toward the living room.  
“Can I get you something to drink?” Nick asked as he gestured for him to take a seat.  
“I’m okay, thanks.” Zak said, immediately noticing the bottle of whiskey still in its paper bag sitting on the coffee table. Nick grabbed for the glass next to it, taking a long drink as he sat down next to Zak.  
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Nick asked, expressionless.  
Zak could smell the warm whiskey on his breath and he wondered how much of it the younger man had had. Clearly he’d stopped to buy it on his way home and Zak couldn’t help but feel responsible.  
“Nick, are you okay?” He asked without meaning to, but his worry for the younger man took over.  
“Yeah, I’m fine.” he said cooly, pouring himself another glass. “Is that why you came all the way over here? To ask me if I’m okay?” He chuckled to himself but there was no humor in it.  
Zak’s heart sank in his chest. Nick was drunk, and not the fun kind. The kind of drunk he got when something was really upsetting him. And Zak’s heart ached to know that _he_ was the thing that was bothering Nick.  
“I’m actually here because I feel like I owe you an apology.” Zak said sincerely.  
Nick glanced up, confusion washing over his face. He couldn’t think what Zak had to apologize for. He was the one who had embarrassed Zak. He was the one who hadn’t been able to bury his feelings long enough to help out his best friend when he needed him.  
“An apology? For what?” He asked.  
“For earlier. For making you feel uncomfortable. That wasn’t fair.” Zak said, eyes lowering to the table. “I know these past few weeks haven’t been easy for you, what with finding out about me and stuff…”  
“Zak, I already told you, that doesn’t matter to me. I’m not uncomfortable with you being bisexual.” Nick said earnestly. He felt terrible. Zak had always battled with insecurity and Nick hated feeling like he’d contributed to it in any way.  
“No, I know. You’ve been so great about it.” Zak said with a smile. “But I do know that it’s an adjustment.”  
“It’s not-”  
“No. Don’t argue with me.” Zak interrupted. “I know that it is. After you found out, things got a little weird. And I’m not mad at you for that. I know that you needed time to process. But things were _just_ starting to get back to normal and now we’re here again.” Zak’s voice caught. His eyes stung with tears, but he fought them back. “And I’m just so sorry. I feel like I put you in a really uncomfortable situation and I feel terrible. I just want to go back to the way things were, before all of this.”  
Nick’s heart sank as Zak looked at him with sad, glistening eyes. None of this was his fault, but of course he’d found a way to take the blame upon himself. Nick pinched the bridge of his nose as guilt washed over him. He sat up to face Zak directly, searching for the right words.  
“Zak, you have _nothing_ to apologize for.” He wished to himself that he hadn’t had quite so much to drink. He really wanted to have a clear mind for this conversation. “I know I got weird. And I’m sorry for that, really. You’re my best friend, Zak. You’re _everything_ …” He paused as the last sentence hung in the air, it had just slipped out and he fought to recover from it. “I want you to know that you can come to me for anything you need; advice, encouragement, whatever...I’m here.”  
“I really appreciate that, Nick. That means a lot.” Zak said sincerely. “Your friendship means...so much to me and I want to be sure that I’m being a good friend to you. And I feel like I let you down tonight.”  
“You didn’t.” Nick said seriously, placing a hand on Zak’s forearm. He might not have done it if he was sober, but he wasn’t. And he was pleased to find that Zak didn’t pull away.  
“Then why are you drunk, Nick?” Zak asked, looking at him with worried eyes.  
Nick opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t big on drinking alone and Zak knew that, so he’d see right through the excuses that were forming in Nick’s mind. But he couldn’t very well tell him the real reason. That he was drunk because it was the only way to handle the aftershocks of being so close to Zak earlier that night. Touching him and being near him had felt so good and so right that Nick didn’t know how he was going to be able to live life _not_ doing those things.  
“I felt you pull away from me earlier.” Zak continued sadly. “And I’m not mad at you for it, but it happened. And now you’re drunk and you’re telling me you’re fine but I know you aren’t.”  
Nick still couldn’t find his words. He took another long drink, feeling the warmth crawl through his insides. He could feel Zak’s eyes burning into him and his mind raced for something to say, anything that could explain his current state and his awkward behavior earlier. He hated upsetting Zak like this. It tore him up inside to see the older man so close to tears and to know that it was his fault.  
“I’m sorry, Zak.” He said, knowing he needed to start there. “I can’t really explain...I’ll try to be better okay?” Nick knew it was a weak defense, but his mind was swimming and he worried if he said much more, he’d just say everything.  
Zak felt completely defeated. The rift in their friendship suddenly felt like a crater threatening to swallow him whole. Nick was putting up walls and Zak didn’t know what to do anymore. He lowered his head, feeling the first tear spill over.  
“Zak-” Nick said, reaching out to touch the older man’s cheek. It happened on its own. His mind no longer having any say over his body as he ached to comfort the man he loved. “Please don’t… let me try to explain.” he begged.  
Zak shook slightly as Nick’s hand brushed his cheek. The inviting warmth spreading through his body. But somehow it only made the tears come faster. Nick’s touch reminded him of what he wanted and couldn't have. And now he worried that he wouldn’t even be able to have a friendship with the younger man. It was almost too much to bear.  
“Just tell me what to do...please. Tell me what to do to get things back to how they used to be.” Zak said, tears running steadily now. “Please, Nick.”  
He reached out, resting his hands on Nick’s arms as if he could stop him from drifting away.  
“That’s the problem.” Nick said gravely, lowering his eyes. He couldn’t look at Zak anymore. Not when he looked so upset.  
“What’s the problem?” Zak asked worriedly.  
Nick brought his hand up to his temples, pinching away the tension building in his forehead. His eyes stung with unshed tears as he worked to collect himself.  
“The problem is, I don’t want things to go back to how they used to be.” he said honestly.  
“Oh.” Zak said, hurt washing over his face. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Everything ached at the thought of losing Nick.  
“It just feels like a lie.” Nick continued. He was already taking this conversation farther than he meant to and his hands shook as his nerves and the alcohol took over. “I'm just tired, Zak. I'm tired of lying to you. Every single day is a struggle and I have to work so hard to try and make sure that I'm acting normal around you. That I'm saying the right things and doing the right things and I'm just sick of it.”  
When he worked up the courage to look Zak in the eye, his face was unreadable. His tears hadn't stopped but he took on a new expression that Nick couldn't identify.  
“I understand.” Zak answered quietly.  
He felt as though his heart had been ripped clean out of his chest. He knew this whole thing had been an adjustment for Nick, but he had no idea how just how difficult it had really been. He hated to think of Nick feeling like he had to fake being okay with everything these past weeks. But truthfully, part of him wished he could go back in time and never have this conversation at all. That way Nick could go on faking it for a while longer. And he wouldn’t have to lose him like he was about to. A new wave of grief rolled over him as that realization hit.  
“I'm so stupid.” He said through sobs. “I wish I’d never signed up for that damn dating site and then none of this would have ever happened.” He wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeve as he worked to calm himself down. Nick was quiet at his side, shoulders slumped. “I don't want to lose you, Nick.” He said desperately. “Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable around me? I'll do anything. And we never have to talk about my sexuality again. I can keep that stuff to myself, I swear. Please, I need you.”  
Nick looked into Zak’s eyes. They were wild and desperate as he stared back. So at least Zak still wanted him around.  
“I’m not going anywhere, Zak.” Nick said seriously. “Not unless you ask me to. And maybe not even then.”  
“But you said-”  
“If friendship is all you want, then...I’ll find a way to live with that. I’ve been doing it for years now.” Nick chuckled humorlessly. “All that matters to me is having you in my life. And I think that it will be a lot easier for me now that I don’t have to constantly feel like I’m hiding something from you.”  
Zak stared at him expressionless. His mouth hung open, but no words formed. Nick’s heart pounded rapidly in his chest as Zak sat in silence for what felt like minutes.  
“What?” Zak mumbled, finally breaking the silence.  
“Um...which part?” Nick asked nervously, not understanding Zak’s confusion.  
“I don’t...um...what are you saying?” Zak asked. His head was spinning and he worried that he had misunderstood what Nick was saying, but his heart leapt with hope that he hadn’t.  
Nick wished again that he’d had less to drink. He thought he was being totally clear, but apparently Zak wasn’t getting it. He took a breath, preparing himself.  
“I love you.” he said simply. “I’m _in_ love with you, Zak. And I have been for...well, for about as long as I’ve known you.” He said, letting the words he’d kept bottled up for so long just flow right out of him.  
“You are?” Zak asked in disbelief.  
“Look, I know you don’t feel the same way. And I’m sorry to do this but I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I don’t expect you to-”  
“Shut up, Nick. Just shut up for a second.” Zak interrupted, heart thumping wildly. “Say it again.”  
Nick looked at Zak, confused. But then a grin broke out across the older man’s face, spreading to his eyes and setting Nick’s heart on fire.  
“Say it again.” Zak begged, eyes watering with happiness.  
Nick leaned in, taking Zak’s face in both his hands and crashing their lips together. Zak’s lips were soft and warm and just as he had imagined them. Zak wrapped his arms around Nick’s neck, pulling the younger man in closer to deepen the kiss. Nick felt Zak groan in approval as he ran his tongue over the older man’s lips. And soon their tongues were tangling breathlessly. The stress melted from Zak's shoulders as Nick dominated the kiss. And Nick allowed his hands to roam over Zak’s body, finally touching him the way he’d always wanted to. Too soon they broke the kiss, needing a moment to catch their breath. But they never stopped touching, unwilling to separate so soon. Zak kissed the side of Nick’s neck softly as he caught his breath, happy to breath in the warmth of Nick’s skin against his lips. He felt the younger man smile above him as he leaned his head to rest on Nick’s shoulder.  
“I’m still waiting, you know.” Zak said with a mischievous grin on his face.  
“Oh yeah, for what?” Nick teased.  
“For you to say it again.” Zak said. “I wasn’t ready before and I didn’t get to say it back. I want a do-over.”  
Nick chuckled, shaking Zak’s body as he leaned against him.  
“A do-over? How old are you?” Nick joked.  
“Just shut up and say it.” Zak argued, sitting up to face the younger man.  
“You know, you’ve been telling me to shut up a lot tonight. I think I’m starting to get a complex.” Nick said with a laugh.  
Zak rolled his eyes, looking at Nick expectantly. And Nick couldn’t resist the way Zak’s eyes practically begged him. He reached out to grab hold of Zak’s hand, happy to comply and more than a little anxious to have his words returned.  
“I love you, Zak.” he said, feeling the sweet release of the words once more. He smiled as Zak’s face lit up. He didn’t know if he’d ever seen anything so beautiful.  
“I love you too, Nick.” Zak said, closing the gap between them and bringing his lips to Nick’s once more. 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing that last bit was my EVEREST. But they finally kissed!


End file.
